Crime Boss: Rockay City is so bad that the culture has completely rejected it

Crime boss: Rocky Citythe game was announced last year with a trailer that felt like the world’s worst April Fool’s joke (it was December) is out! However, you might not know it because no one talking about it.

If the game is good, people will talk about it. If the game is bad, people will talk about it. If a game is bad in ways that make it interesting, it gets talked about, and if a game is bad in ways that are incredibly funny, then it gets talked about again. Maybe it’s a 1,000 word impression piece Kotaku.commaybe it’s a bunch of tweets maybe it’s a video series about bloopers and failuresthese are all the ways you or anyone, anyone can talk about a video game.

This is important because talking about a video game is the only way we as a culture keep the game alive. I don’t want to get either in it On this one mail that doesn’t have the right bandwidth, but the drives in the rack are just pieces of plastic, and the HDD code is only 1s and 0s. It’s us to experience creating memories/opinions about them, then sharing them with other people, is what makes video games what they are. Which is all thiswhat do I write, what do you read, the communities you build and be a part of, if not just one big way for us to share our thoughts on video games?

Anyway, I realize here that there is room and opportunity to talk about almost every video game on the planet, love it or hate it. Except Crime boss: Rocky City. Which no one (except me, here, much to my chagrin) is talking about even though it’s been out for almost a month. And now I know why.

I have “played” it as much as you can bring yourself to sit down and experience this game. And I’ve found myself unable to review it or even give my impressions in the standard “Hey, check this out” way. I was so put off by its packaging that in awe of how it does absolutely everything it sets out to do wrong, I feel the need to write it up and post it on the site so that someone else can convince me that any of this actually happened .

Rockay City is a fever dream. It’s the outline of a video game colored by the tortured ghosts of the 80s and 90s. It’s like a fake Powerpoint presentation for a blockchain game, only with sections that cover the actual game. Here’s the launch trailer for the game – it’s out, you can buy it and even play it, just to show you I’m not making any of this up:

Crime Boss: Rockay City – Official Launch Trailer

Michael Madsen brought 1,000 lifetime burdens into the recording studio, and none of them turned out well. Serial ass-kicker Chuck Norris is so lifeless that an 80s text-to-speech system could have done a better job of delivering his lines. Kim Basinger and Danny Glover’s agents should be shot in the sun for this. And Vanilla Ice…well Vanilla Ice is actually great here, I have nothing bad to say about Vanilla Ice.

It is written there Rockay City in the most literal sense, English has words that come after other words, but whether they form complete and coherent sentences is debatable. There is also a plot, in the same way the main art and promotional tweet a Grand Theft Auto online the mission has a plot.

There’s no vision here other than “here’s some stuff guys who got too involved in Johnny Depp’s trial and whose two favorite movies might find cool Reservoir Dogs and Scar face“. There’s also no context or cohesion, although visually everything has the same generic crime game sheen you’d expect from a clone of a clone GTA clone on Xbox 360. To view Rockay City must be shaken around the inside of a a shipping container full of Ed Hardy jeans and Steven Seagal movies.

6 minutes Crime Boss: Rockay City official game

What is it really like to play? See above. You sneak around for a while, shoot some guys — who are often just innocent people and lot of bullets – then you shoot a lot more, because Rockay City never know when to turn the volume down. It’s a Level 99 Crime Boss mobile game with a late-90s violent bent (or lack of moral compass).

Rockay City spent real money on it, paid for real Hollywood involvement. It was a crime game, it had guns, it spent enough marketing money that it somehow turned out inside notification mailit should have meant something to someone. However, to our collective credit, we have declined to wholesale these games. The game is not only to suck, but even idea it sucks. It is a disaster on a conceptual level. Nobody talks about it, nobody plays it; the game is only available on PC, but not on Steam, and its official subreddit has… 242 members.

i can’t tell Rockay City it’s OK. I can’t say it’s bad except in the ways I’ve already described it (though here’s its Metacritic page if you want to expand your horizons). I can’t say it’s so bad it’s good. I honestly don’t think traditional video game quantifiers work here. This isn’t a 2023 release of the game, it’s the black hole in the middle of it that sucks light and energy and washes the old actors into its void.

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